


The Haunted Jukebox

by pleasebekidding



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Sex Pollen, Strip Tease, haunted jukebox, possessed strip club, sort of, total crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2013-10-08
Packaged: 2017-12-28 20:31:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/996255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasebekidding/pseuds/pleasebekidding
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Total crack. Got prompted for Bonnie Bennett giving Alaric a strip tease and I honestly couldn't think of any situation where she would do this, or where he would stay instead of running to get a grown-up, and suddenly 'haunted jukebox' and 'possessed strip club' came to mind.<br/>So, here. Have some crack(non)ship fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Haunted Jukebox

**Author's Note:**

> The soundtrack to this is "Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears, because Bonnie would HATE that.

Bonnie and Alaric pushed through the doors cautiously. The carpets, a rich red, were darker here and there. Bloodstains. Past the vestibule, though, it was too dark to see much. Alaric switched his flashlight on, casting about in the gloom. Stage with a pole; no, two poles. Private booths in the back (okay, he couldn’t actually see that… but he might have been here once or twice with Damon before it got overrun by demons and subsequently went out of business).

“Where is your asshole best friend?” Bonnie asked. “Shouldn’t he be here protecting us from things like him?”

“He’s trying to find the power to switch it back on. But you’re a big bad witch. You’ll be fine.”

“I can’t see. Damon knows about electricity?” She sounded doubtful.

“Well… put it this way. A little electrocution isn’t going to kill him.” Another moment and suddenly the lights came on. Red globes and white strobe lights – sort of an interesting contrast to the horror evidenced on the carpets and backstage. Alaric felt a strange, warm shiver go through him. “You feel that?”

“Magic,” Bonnie said, preparing to defend them against whatever was there. But it was too late. A moment later, the jukebox roared to life.

Bonnie rolled her eyes, and stepped towards it, to turn it off. Alaric cringed. “Is that Britney Spears?”

Suddenly, Bonnie was standing in front of him, looking shocked. She put her hands on his shoulders and pushed him into a chair. “Bonnie, we don’t have…”

“Shut up, Ric,” she snarled. “I have no idea what I’m… oh, seriously? What are these lyrics?” She nudged Alaric’s knees apart and put her foot against the edge of the chair, as she began to unbutton her shirt. “Get out of here,” she snarled.

“I would,” Alaric said, as Bonnie threw her head back, hair cascading over her shoulders. “I would, I swear, but I’m stuck here.”

“I mean it,” she said, “get out. I don’t think I can stop…” She removed her foot, and stood with her feet a fair distance apart; placed her hands on the back of his chair and rolled her entire body until her breasts were less than an inch from his face. Clad in a white lace bra that looked altogether too enticing against her caramel skin.

“Believe me. I would. If it’s any consolation I seem not to be allowed to touch.”

“Small mercies,” Bonnie said, as she drew back, unbuttoned her jeans, and groaned. “Oh god. Can you close your eyes?”

“I can’t even look away.”

“That had better be the magic, Alaric – believe me, it’s not only vampires I can torture with migraines…”

“Believe me,” he said, watching as she turned, hips swaying seductively, to roll the waistband of her pants over a pair of panties that matched the bra perfectly. “I really, really don’t need to see this much skin on any of my students. Damon! Turn off the electricity?”

He was reaching for his wallet by the time Bonnie was left wearing nothing but her lingerie and a pair of thigh-high socks, striped black and white. Oh, no. No no no. “No one ever hears about this,” Bonnie snarled, and Alaric shook his head, reaching for his wallet.

“He’s gonna come in here in a minute,” Alaric said, trying to look anywhere but down into Bonnie’s cleavage and failing. “And this is actually about to get worse. Because… basically, I’m about to start stuffing money into your clothing. I’m really sorry about this,” he said, and tucked a fiver dollar note into the leg of her panties. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t have much cash. Bonnie? Why are you reaching behind… NO. Bra stays on. Bra stays on!”

There was a snicker, “Oh, wow. No, Bon-Bon, bra comes off. Let me find the video in my camera.”

Alaric managed, in his peripheral vision, to spot Damon. Bonnie was grinding into his lap and looking murderous. “Haunted jukebox, asshole,” she said. “Turn the damn thing off. Alaric’s sticking receipts in my… Ric? No touching!”

Damon laughed again. “Just to the end of the song, I swear.”

“NO.” Bonnie and Alaric spoke together.

Damon rolled his eyes – Alaric swore he could actually hear it, and he walked altogether too slowly across the room to unplug the jukebox.

The spell dropped immediately, and Bonnie and Alaric sprang apart. Goddammit, he had a boner. Well… not his fault. He grimaced, and thought unsexy thought, while Bonnie muttered about spells to erase memories.

“Well,” Damon said, watching Bonnie dress with open curiosity. “If you two are done making out, we have a strip club to exorcise.”


End file.
